If you would have asked me, do you trust God? My answer would be of course be, yes. If you asked, is God enough for you? My answer would be, of course he is! I think we all believe in our hearts these answers are true of ourselves, because we know this is how we want or should live. But when put to the test and examining our hearts we find most often than not we have deceived ourselves. The answers of yes, He is enough that easily flow from our lips is actually not really aligned with what is going on inside our hearts and comes forth in the way we live it out. It is so easy to fall into living a life of deception, to ourselves and others and thankfully and graciously the Lord refines us even though it usually is through seasons that are difficult.
This season I have walked the past few months have been nothing short of freeing and joyful, yet also filled with new hardships that have sometimes riddled me with anxiety and stress that recently brought me to my breaking point. All the things I thought I had control of were slipping through my grasp like rushing water through my fingers of a clenched fist. As the control dissipated it felt as if bricks were being stacked one by one on my chest turning my breathing into a painful chore. One morning pacing like my dog through the house shouting praises, prayers and pleas to the Lord He quietly broke through my jumbled mess and spoke,
Am I not enough?
Am I not your security?
Am I not your rescuer?
Am I not in control?
I fell to my face in repentance. Money was my god. My idol. My security. I had convinced myself if I had X amount of dollars in my account and the security of some future situations that I could breathe again, be rescued out of this pressure-cooker situation and move on again with life. And sometimes the Lord takes us to a place of nothingness to reveal our true gods, our true sinful heart. I had fallen prey to the comfort of this world, believing the false god of security of money to be my savior from this situation. The lure of comfort wooed me in.
I was living on lies, sinking sand.
The lie that brick and mortar were the foundations of my security and rest.
The lie that it is better when I have control of situations.
The lie that future security is my rescue.
I forgot the truth, my Rock.
He is enough
He is my security
He is my rescuer
Even when my circumstance scream otherwise, when all else fails HE still stands.
I headed straight to my Bible and sat myself down for some reading time in Exodus to soak truth of Israelites living on Manna. Graciously, the Lord didn’t just speak to me that one day. Everyday since He has met me to redirect my heart back to my Shepard.
Each morning when the bricks try to build their house upon my chest I go back to his Grace.
His Grace is sufficient for me.
More than sufficient.
The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. (Psalms 23)
I have all I need for
I am secured in the grips of a Savior who has already supplied me all that I need for today because of Jesus who is victorious. He has overcome, therefore I can overcome. I am rescued and no circumstances can steal my great rescue. It is already finished therefore I can walk in victory today whether I am living in need or in great abundance.
Because as Paul says in Philippians, I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)
He is enough.
So let us walk today with our eyes on our Shepherd, knowing whatever our current situation may be or how out of control life feels, He is in control and our life today, our eternity tomorrow is secured with Him.
The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.