I rolled out of bed, feet hitting my carpet floor like any other morning, yet God ordained other plans for the day ahead. With a rushed morning scurrying off to the airport I finally found my quiet moments in the car on the long drive home. I began praying, pouring requests before the King & this weight fell over my soul, a tugging… a whisper, “go.” I wrestled & justified all the reasons why this wasn’t going to work today or fit in my schedule. I moved on and made my way home where I cozied up with my Starbucks near the fire & meditated on Psalms 5:3 ” Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.”
Little did I know He was preparing my heart for the hours ahead.
I soon grabbed the remote and clicked on the Seahawks game but the nagging within persisted—and within moments I had read something that was my SIGN from God–you need to GO. After much more resistance on my part I felt clearly the Lord speaking to my soul, “I am asking you to simply come. Just come. In faith.”
No, it wasn’t an audible voice, but a whisper over my soul.
I tossed this question in my head all day,
Why is coming to him so hard?
The simplicity of coming in our weakness is often the biggest hurdle to experiencing more of Jesus.
I quickly rearranged my schedule for the day & sought counsel to confirm the stirrings in my heart. I knew I was to go alone, but this introvert was having a melt down inside…ALONE? I don’t go to these things alone. Every time I went to invite someone to join me, I knew I was disobeying. I was to go alone. Moments before I needed to leave I began questioning everything–and I knew in that moment Satan was at war with what God had for me. My thoughts were all over the place and Satan placed his trick of doubt in my head, “Did God really say that?”
Driving in silence, gripping my steering wheel, out loud I proclaimed the truths of Christ. When the oppression fell thick upon my body I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was going where God asked because Satan was fighting against me with every trick he had.
Obedience is hard.
Obedience takes sacrifice.
Obedience is not comfortable.
Obedience is sometimes scary.
Obedience takes faith.
Obedience is worth it.
There I stood with all the faith I had, my body shaking like a leaf as fear took over my body. In that moment I wanted to sprint away and go hide. Tears fell from the corners of my eyes as I knew it was a defining moment. It was that moment when the Holy Spirit leads so strongly, you know you have to obey–and it is scary because you know you can’t back out now.
Early that morning Jesus whispered, “come.” There I sat, 10 hours later, in faith, knowing God wanted all my faith–even it was simply the size of a mustard seed.
If I knew today, Jesus, in person would be in the highest hills of Oregon would I not find anyway to get to him? I would climb, scratch, claw, save my money, run to see him…to look in his eyes of compassion…to fall at the Kings feet….to bring my gifts…to thank Him for grace….to cry out for healing….to feel his tender touch of strength. Oh I would find a way to get to Jesus if it cost me everything.
I would come.